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Supporting Your Child Through Big Emotions: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

Crying is a natural and healthy way for children and teens to process strong emotions. If your child seems to be crying more often or more intensely, try these updated strategies:

Normalize and Validate

• Let them know they are safe and loved. Reassure them that it’s okay to feel upset or overwhelme
• Acknowledge their feelings. Say things like, “It’s okay to cry,” or “It makes sense that you feel this way.
• Avoid outdated phrases like “boys don’t cry” or “big kids shouldn’t cry.” These can make children feel ashamed of their emotions.
• Explain that crying is healthy. Help them understand that it’s one way our body handles big feelings.

Build Emotional Awareness

• Talk about emotions when your child is calm. This helps them build understanding and coping skills for next time.
• Use examples from books, movies, or shows. Ask how characters managed their feelings and talk about alternative ways they could cope.
• Remind them of their resilience. Share stories of times when they handled tough situations successfully.

Teach Coping Skills

• Use calming strategies together, like:
  • Deep breathing
  • Counting slowly to 10
  • Positive self-talk (e.g., “I can get through this.”)
  • Taking a short break or going for a walk
• Encourage problem-solving. Help them name the issue, notice what their body is feeling, and identify what might help right now (e.g., a snack, rest, movement).
• Visualize emotions like waves. Emotions rise and fall, just like waves on the shore—they don’t last forever.

 Respond Supportively

• Provide space if needed. Some children feel more comfortable crying in a quiet spot without an audience
• Avoid over-focusing on the crying itself. Dwelling on it too long can unintentionally reinforce the behavior.
• Set gentle limits if needed. For example, set a short timer for discussing the problem, then shift focus to a calming activity or distraction.

Know When to Seek Support

If your child’s crying persists, increases in intensity, or begins to interfere with daily functioning—such as school attendance, sleep, or relationships—don’t hesitate to reach out. School psychologists, counselors, and mental health staff are here to help. They can provide additional support, assess your child’s needs, and connect your family with effective resources and strategies.

Helping Your Child Build Healthy Sleep Habits: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

Good sleep is essential for your child’s mood, learning, attention, and overall well-being. If your child is having difficulty falling or staying asleep—or has an irregular sleep schedule—these updated strategies can help:

Create a Calming Bedtime Routine

• Establish a consistent wind-down routine. This helps signal the brain that it’s time to sleep. Try:
  • A warm shower or bath
  • Reading a book
  • Light stretches or deep breathing
• Stick to the same sleep and wake times every day, even on weekends. Set an alarm if needed.
• Use the bed only for sleep. This helps the brain associate bed with rest—not homework, screen time, or play.
• Encourage schoolwork to be done outside the bedroom when possible, to preserve the sleep space.

One Hour Before Bed: Power Down

• Turn off screens (phones, tablets, TVs, computers)—blue light interferes with melatonin production.
• Avoid caffeine and sugary or energy drinks.
• Skip heavy meals or snacks close to bedtime.

Build Healthy Habits During the Day

• Incorporate daily physical activity. Even a 10-minute walk can help regulate the body’s sleep cycle.
• Limit naps to no more than 30 minutes. Long naps can interfere with nighttime sleep.
• Get plenty of natural light. Sunlight helps regulate your child’s internal body clock (circadian rhythm).

If They Can’t Fall Asleep…

• After 20–30 minutes of restlessness, encourage your child to get up and do something calming—like reading a book, listening to quiet music, or practicing breathing exercises—then try going back to bed when they feel sleepy.

Know When to Seek Support

If your child’s sleep difficulties persist, begin affecting mood, focus, or functioning at school or home, or lead to signs of anxiety or distress, reach out for help. School psychologists and counselors can offer guidance and connect you with additional strategies and supports to promote healthy sleep and emotional well-being.

Helping Your Child Manage Anger: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

Anger is a normal emotion—but when it shows up as yelling, crying, or physical aggression, it’s a signal your child needs support to express feelings in safer, more effective ways. These tips can help:

Understand the Message Behind the Behavior

• All behavior is communication. Instead of focusing only on what your child is doing, ask why they might be reacting this way.
• Once calm, talk it through. Gently say: “You were really upset, and I want to understand why.” Then help them problem-solve better ways to get what they need.

In the Heat of the Moment

• Keep your words few and your tone calm. Say simple phrases like:
  • “I’m here for you.”
  • “Let’s go calm down.”
  • “Tell me when you’re ready to talk.”
• Avoid trying to reason when emotions are high. Wait until they’re calm to reflect or teach.

Create a Calm-Down Space

• Designate a peaceful area at home for your child to cool off. Include:
  • A comfy chair, pillow, or blanket
  • Fidget toys or a stress ball
  • Paper for drawing or tearing
  • Soft music or noise-canceling headphones
• Model calm behavior yourself. Use self-talk like:
  • “Share my calm, don’t join the chaos.”
  • “They’re having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.”
• Use calming tools together: deep breathing, a sip of cold water, or grounding activities.

Reinforce Positive Behavior

• Praise what you want to see more of. For example: “I love how you used your words instead of yelling.”
• Use rewards and motivation: Have your child earn stickers, points, or tokens to trade for favorite activities (e.g., “10 stickers = 20 minutes of video games”).

Prevent Escalation with Clear Structure

• Give time warnings: “Five more minutes until we clean up.”
• Break down tasks: “First, put on your shoes.”
• Use “When/Then” statements: “When you finish homework, then you can watch TV.”
• Set clear expectations and remind often. Visual reminders work great for younger kids.

Responding to Physical Aggression

• Stay calm and consistent. Use direct but neutral language like:
  • “Hitting is not okay. You need to take a break to calm down.”
• Apply immediate, brief consequences. This might include:
  • Time in a calm-down space
  • Loss of privileges
  • A clear, calm reminder of what to do instead: “Use your words when you’re mad.”
• Encourage repair. Once your child is calm, help them apologize and make amends.

Know When to Seek Support

If your child’s anger becomes frequent, intense, or hard to manage—especially if it’s affecting school, friendships, or family life—it’s okay to ask for help. School psychologists and counselors are available to support your child’s emotional development and help you find strategies that work for your family.

When Your Child Loses Interest in Fun: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

It can be concerning when your child no longer seems to enjoy the things they once loved. A sudden loss of interest in favorite activities may be a sign of stress, sadness, or difficulty coping. These strategies can help you support your child in reconnecting with joy and emotional balance:

Stay Connected and Engaged

• Keep social connections active. Support your child in maintaining friendships and relationships through in-person interactions, phone calls, or video chats.
• Make time for shared experiences. Invite your child to join you in lighthearted or fun activities like board games, walks, or family movie nights—even small moments of connection can help.

Encourage Healthy Daily Habits

• Stick to a consistent sleep routine. A regular bedtime and wake-up time helps regulate mood and energy levels.
• Prioritize balanced meals and movement. Physical activity and a healthy diet can have a big impact on emotional well-being. A walk, bike ride, or dancing together can also create shared joy.
• Spend time outdoors. Exposure to natural light and fresh air supports both physical and mental health.

Practice Coping and Relaxation Skills

• Introduce calming techniques, especially during times of stress or worry:
  • Deep breathing or belly breathing
  • Guided mindfulness or meditation
  • Gentle stretching or yoga
  • Progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and releasing muscles in order)
• Encourage journaling. Writing thoughts and feelings down can help children process emotions and develop coping skills over time.

Explore New Interests Together

• Try a new hobby or revisit an old one. Choose something that’s fun and low-pressure, such as:
  • Cooking or baking a favorite recipe
  • Painting, crafting, or building models
  • Gardening or planting flowers
  • Learning a simple instrument or trying a new game
• Let your child guide the activity. Their natural curiosity may spark renewed interest when given freedom and choice.

Validate Their Emotions

• Acknowledge how they’re feeling. You might say, “It seems like you’re not enjoying things the way you used to. That’s okay—let’s talk about it.”
• Resist the urge to “fix” it right away. Listening without judgment can be powerful.
• Share your own perspective. Letting your child know that you sometimes feel this way too can help normalize their experience.

Help Them Look Ahead

• Talk about the future. Support your child or teen in identifying short- and long-term goals, such as joining a new activity, researching clubs or sports, or planning for a milestone they’re looking forward to.
• Celebrate small steps. Encourage your child to take small actions toward re-engaging, and recognize any effort they make, even if progress is slow.

Know When to Seek Support

If your child’s loss of interest lasts more than a few weeks, starts to interfere with daily life, or is accompanied by other concerning signs (like sadness, irritability, sleep changes, or isolation), don’t hesitate to reach out. School psychologists and counselors can work with you to support your child’s mental and emotional health and connect you with helpful resources.

When Your Child Refuses to Do Schoolwork: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

All students struggle with motivation at times—but when refusal to do schoolwork becomes a pattern, it may signal frustration, overwhelm, or a lack of connection to the material. These strategies can help you support your child while encouraging responsibility and effort.

Use a Supportive but Structured Parenting Approach

• Be both responsive and firm. Show warmth and empathy, while maintaining clear academic expectations.
• Balance compassion with structure. For example: “I know this is hard—and I also expect you to finish your work.”
• Monitor and support. Stay involved in your child’s academic life. Know what assignments are due, check progress regularly, and provide encouragement along the way.

Set Clear Expectations and Routines

• Designate a specific homework time and place. Choose a quiet, well-lit spot free of distractions.
• Establish daily routines. Consistent structure helps children feel more in control and less anxious about school tasks.
• Break work into manageable steps. This makes large or overwhelming assignments feel more doable.

Encourage Goal-Setting

• Help your child set realistic academic and behavior goals.
  • “What’s one or two things you can finish today?”
  • “What do you want to get better at this week?”
• Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate effort, even when the outcome isn’t perfect.

Praise Effort and Engagement

• Use praise and rewards strategically. Focus on behaviors that reflect effort and persistence.
  • “I’m proud of how you stuck with that even when it was hard.”
  • “I noticed you started your work right away—great job!”
• Avoid over-rewarding. Reinforce your child’s internal motivation by pointing out the value of learning and the satisfaction of finishing something challenging.

Build Relevance and Choice

• When possible, give your child choices. Let them choose the order of assignments or which subject to start with.
• When choice isn’t available, help them find meaning. Say things like:
  • “This might not seem important now, but learning how to work through challenges is a skill you’ll use all your life.”
  • “This subject might help open more options for you in the future.”

Know When to Seek Support

If your child continues to refuse schoolwork despite consistent support and routines, it may be time to reach out. School psychologists, counselors, and teachers are here to help, whether your child needs academic interventions, motivation strategies, emotional support, or a more tailored plan for success.

When Your Child Feels Worried or Anxious: Derry Township School District School Psychologist’s Guide

Anxiety is a normal part of growing up, but when children feel overwhelmed by worry or fear, they need our help to feel safe, understood, and empowered. These strategies can help you support your child through anxious moments:

Help Your Child Identify and Talk About Their Feelings

• Label their emotions. This helps children build self-awareness. Try saying:
  • “How do you feel when ___ happens?”
  • “You look upset—can you tell me what you’re feeling?”
• Ask open-ended questions. Use “what,” “how,” or “why” to gently invite conversation and listen without judgment.
• Validate their feelings. Say things like:
  • “It’s okay to feel nervous or scared sometimes.”
  • “I feel that way too sometimes, and here’s how I try to handle it.”

Teach Coping Skills

• Model calm behavior. Show how you manage stress—whether it’s taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or using positive self-talk.
• Practice relaxation strategies together:
  • Belly breathing (slowly inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth)
  • Mindfulness activities (e.g., noticing five things you can see, four things you can touch…)
  • Gentle movement like stretching or yoga
• Gently correct misunderstandings. Anxiety often comes from imagining the worst-case scenario. Reassure your child with calm facts and help them focus on what they can control.

Keep Routines and Create Safety

• Maintain a regular schedule. Predictable routines help reduce stress and create a sense of security.
• Limit exposure to upsetting conversations or media. Children can absorb more than we realize. Keep information age-appropriate and reassuring.

Focus on Connection and Positivity

• Spend quality time together. Do activities your child enjoys—board games, cooking, building something, or just talking.
• Encourage kind actions. Suggest they write a kind note, draw a picture, or do something thoughtful for someone else. Helping others often helps ease worry.
• Remind your child you are there for them. Say:
  • “You can always talk to me.”
  • “I care about you, and we’ll get through this together.”

Know When to Seek Support

If your child’s anxiety is ongoing, interferes with sleep, appetite, school, or relationships—or if they are withdrawing or showing signs of distress—it may be time to reach out. School psychologists, counselors, and mental health professionals can work with you and your child to provide additional support and coping strategies.

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